Give a family history
The present nobody thinks to ask for.
Most of this work is commissioned by adult children, not by the person being written about. They are the ones who notice the time.
You do not need your parent’s permission to start. You need a free call and a decision.
Why people do this
“We kept meaning to ask.”
It is the most common sentence in this business, and it is almost always said too late. Everybody intends to sit down with their mother and write it all out. Then a year goes by. Then five. Then the details are gone and only the outline is left.
The person being written about will usually say they are not interesting enough. They are wrong, and they change their mind about forty minutes into the first interview, when somebody is finally asking about the kitchen and the walk to school rather than the highlights.
“My father would never have asked for this. He was mortified when I told him. Then he talked for four hours.”
What a client will one day sayThis space is reserved for a real client quote. It is empty because I have not asked anyone’s permission yet, and I will not invent one.“I read it out at her ninetieth. Nobody could speak afterwards.”
ReservedSame. When families give me permission, their words go here and not before.The occasions
When people commission one.
Milestones
A birthday, an anniversary, a retirement
A ninetieth, a fiftieth anniversary, a bar or bat mitzvah where a grandparent should be heard from. Commission four to six months ahead and it is ready on the day.
See project sizes →While there is time
A diagnosis, a move into care
The hardest and the most common. Say so when you write and I will tell you honestly what can be done in the time available — including a single interview written up quickly.
Write to me →After
An unveiling, a yahrzeit, an estate
When the person is gone, we work from the people who remember them and whatever survives on paper. Some of the strongest histories are assembled entirely from the generation below.
How it works →Gift certificates
If you want to give it at a birthday or a seder rather than spring it on somebody, I will send you a printed certificate and a letter explaining what happens next, in an envelope, by post. Nothing begins until they say yes.
Certificates never expire. If the person you bought it for decides they would rather not, the value transfers to anyone else in the family, or I refund it.
Two things families ask
What if my parent refuses?
Some do at first, and almost none of them mean it. It is usually modesty rather than refusal — they do not believe their life is interesting enough. I have a first conversation with them, with no commitment, and if they still do not want it after that, you have lost nothing and I will not take the work.
Can several of us split the cost?
Yes, and most families do. Siblings and cousins commonly divide it. I invoice one person for simplicity and you settle it between yourselves however you like.
Can I be involved, or should I stay out of it?
Whichever you prefer. Some children sit in on the interviews; more often the parent speaks more freely without them. I will tell you which I think will work better after the first call, and you decide.
How far ahead should I commission it?
For a single story, about a month. For a life in brief, three months. For a full family history, five or six. If your date is closer than that, write anyway — say the date in your first message and I will give you a straight answer.
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